We’re approaching the end of the first semester. It’s been quite a ride, even this early. The house is still quiet and I keep looking for the basement door to open and see his face. It still doesn’t open and he’s still not home.
Thanksgiving…food…family…the same, yet somehow different. The airport pickup was filled with all the warmth I’d expected. Long hugs. Let go and hug again. Smile and tell each other how much the other was missed. This I was ready for. I was even ready for the not seeing him because plans to meet friends were made and he had people to see. You know, his people – those he left behind but still feels the need to be close to. I wasn’t prepared for the quiet and silence. Our son and I are very close. We laugh and joke around a lot. It’s kind of our thing. This first trip home was met with a silence for which I was not prepared.
We had spent time hanging out before he left and took time to museum hop and for some reason, I had hoped we would have an opportunity to do so again. This was not to be the case. Was I sad? I’m not sure. When I realized my hopes were not to be, I think resignation was the response. Resign to the fact that my expectations need to be modulated. Perhaps I shouldn’t have any at all.
What can I expect that’s fair to both of us? Is it okay to want what was while recognizing things are new? How much is too much? This is the question I ask as I think about the space between his growing up and out and my growing in a different mom direction as well.
Christmas is around the corner and he’ll be home in a week. What will the extended time home bring? What will our emptynest interrupted feel like?
If you have a story about when your college kid came home and interrupted your emptynest, please share in the comments section. I’d love to hear from you.
All the best,
#EmptyNestChronicles
